Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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