Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
do herpes really smell.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
