How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
