my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
