so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize