Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
