Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
