The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
