All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
