1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
