and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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