i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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