Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
