Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
