And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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