i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
