Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
