if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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