Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
