i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize