I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
