just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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