Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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