"it" just moved
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize