You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
