She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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