I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
