I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
