i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
