I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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