Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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