bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
