I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
