You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
