My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
