When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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