sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
