Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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