i just had sex bonerless
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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