careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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