I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
