I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
