I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
