god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You just made me feel so damn special
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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