You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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