dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
