btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
