We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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