Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
