So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
