So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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