Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
