God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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