just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Couch. On fire.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
