you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize