My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize