Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
