i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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