Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
