I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just want to make out with him forever
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
