This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
