So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
