Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
