I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
