Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
