who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
