Soap is not a condiment
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
