Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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