you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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