if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
