'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you would pick up someone in the library
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
