DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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