Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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