His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
