If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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