I hate all girls vehemently.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
